Prolog
Dean with campaign adviser Joe Trippi construct the first internet, weblog, cellphone, Ipod, digital march to the White House. Money flows into the campaign like water over Niagra Falls. Trippi is hailed as a genius for planting more grassroots than those contained in Cheech and Chongs garden. Pollsters point to a Iowa landslide for the Deaniacs, who have been drawn by the thousands heeding the call for raising taxes, enviromental activism, sending Bush back to Crawford, showing the door to special interests and Washington elites. Iowa turnout is predicted at 40.000.
Edging to the Precipice:
An elderly Mr. Unger is told to “shut up, you had your say, now its my turn,” in response to Ungers plea for more civility, and less rhetoric during a campaign rally. The Deaniacs fail to show on a cold primary night, apparently more concerned with “Texting” friends, posting to their weblogs, and downloading MP3’S for their Ipod’s. Dean finishes a dismal third behind “out of nowhere” Sen. Edwards and the consummate Washington elite, multi-millionaire Sen. John Kerry.
Over the Precipice:
The catastrophic Iowa loss prompts Dean to let loose with the now infamous scream. Quickly followed by an urgent website request for one million in donations within the week. The image makeover begins as the previously unseen Mrs. Dean appears at the Doctors side at a rally and a televised interview on ABC’S Primetime. The polls show a rebound but some have called it “a dead cat bounce.” The campaign, in an effort to pull out its first win pours all its money and resources into New Hampshire’s “first in the nation” primary. A 13 point loss to Sen. Kerry elicits an impassioned, even critics call it near presidential, post election speech. The speech is highlighted by each goal of the Deaniacs emphasized by the ending tagline, “and we will” The loss sends the Deaniacs into panic mode and assemble at base camp to plot the next move.
The Death Rattle
Trippi is asked to slide down the organizational ladder. The new head is Al Gore’s former adviser Roy Neel and Trippi resigns over the choice. Paid staffers are asked to forego paychecks for two weeks. The next seven states to be contested all show the Deaniacs poll numbers in the low teens or single digits. All Dean TV advertising is pulled from the airwaves. One TV talking head has described Dean being like Bruce Willis in Sixth Sense, he’s dead and doesn’t know it. A belief is surfacing that the good Doctor has sold out the digital march. Roy Neel, D.C. insider and lobbyist represented Bellsouth and Verizon among others that made him the highest paid lobbyist during the nineties. Dean has become a clone of the rest.
The Epilogue
The Deaniacs campaign has successfully made TOAST, “and we will.”
Postscript
Has Dean been done in by a few verbal gaffs, or from the lack of money to continue? No I think Americans have awoken to the fact he really isn’t any different than the other fat cats in Washington. The Dean attempt to slither his way into D.C. was just by a previously under utilized digital method that failed him. He once said, as Governor, that he wished the rest of “the country were more like Vermont.” The problem is, as Governor he destroyed the Agency of Natural Resources, and ushered in the era of mega-farms that saw a decline of 36% in small farmers. The big business influence he has demonized on the campaign trail, he played “cozy” with in Vermont that has cost residents millions as they are saddled with the sixth highest utility rates in the country.
The bottom line is his campaign has become the inverse of Pinks’s “Lets get the party started.”
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