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Archive for December, 2004

Via Three Men and a Blog and the Tucson Citizen.

I have never expected a free Big Mac from McDonalds, just a reasonably priced one. If the KFC Boardroom adopts a “PETA way of business” I’ll have neither, and my chicken breast with teriyuki sauce with be assessed a surcharge for “inert gas.”

The fast-food giant said it is studying the possibility of “controlled atmosphere killing,” in which chickens are killed by replacing oxygen in the air they breathe with an inert gas, such as nitrogen or argon.

It would replace a slaughtering process in which chickens are hung by their legs on a moving conveyor line and pulled through an electrified vat of water. The electrical charge is supposed to stun the chickens, and then their throats are cut.

Let’s pretend for a moment that you are a chicken. (I’d use a human example, but we are assuming the PETA mindset and the transference of human feelings and emotions to a damm CHICKEN are critical to the scenario)

You have been convicted in the KFC Court of Law for conduct unbecoming a Rhode Island Red. The sentence carries with it the death penalty. Proud and regal poulet that you are, a last cigarette and a choice of your final demise are given. Your choices are:

A) Sucking your last breaths thru a hosepipe supplying gas “having no biological or catalytic activity,” most commonly refered to as being “inert.” Not to put to fine a point on it, but it would be similiar to a tightly wrapped bicycle chain around your neck. The lack of oxygen passing thru your windpipe could also be described as “having no biological or catalytic activity.”

B) Your second choice is the traditional KFC method of “6 piece Nugget” preparation. Hung by your feet you hurdle down a conveyor and receive a stunning electrical shock just prior to a specialized poultry Ginsu knife sliceing and diceing your mostly pristine neck. (except one small tattoo of FogHorn Leghorn) Your now severed head looks up at your former “motivation unit” doing the classic “chicken with it’s head cut-off dance.”

So… What’s it gonna be bucko? a quick and easy slicing and dicing? Or the slow agonizing struggle for… well, for nothing… except “inertness?”

And be quick about it, the next customer in line ordered a 12 piece box.

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And the sooner the better. Unfortunately, like many of his kind, in all likelyhood it may never happen.

We Will Not Faint – Jesse Jackson on why he thinks John Kerry really won the election.

NEWSWEEK: What’s the matter with Ohio?
Jackson: “In Columbus, Cincinnati, Akron, Youngstown, Cleveland, where I was, you had blacks standing in line for six hours in the rain. That’s a form of voter suppression.” [Suppression? Did the long lines consist entirely of Blacks? Doubtful. And wouldn’t 6 hours in the rain be “suppression” created by Mother Nature?]

NEWSWEEK: Ohio Secretary of State Kenneth Blackwell says that machines were allotted based on turnout in past years, and that he didn’t realize they’d need more machines until it was too late.
Jackson: “He had to know it because registration was up. Blackwell may have had to deliver for Bush and [Vice President Dick] Cheney and he got a lighter rap than [former Florida Secretary of State Katherine] Harris got. But Ohio may have been more stacked than Florida was.”

NEWSWEEK: So you think Blackwell stole the election for Bush?
Jackson: “It was under his domain to have enough machines; the machine calibration, tabulation issue. You could rig the machines. We have reason to believe it was rigged.” [Well sure you have “reason to believe,” the entire ABB crowd does, just because you LOST. Where’s the proof?]

NEWSWEEK: What is your evidence?
Jackson: “Based on distrusting the system, lack of paper trails, the anomaly of the exit polls. In Ukraine, there’s an exit poll gap, they say, ‘Let’s have another election.'” [Ah yes the infamous exit polls. An election redo? Sure, and let’s have your corrupt Rainbow Coalition finance it. Based on how you morons have acted since Nov 2 the Bush margin of victory would increase]

NEWSWEEK: Have you been in touch with John Kerry about the issue? Does he share your concerns?
Jackson: “His lawyers are now involved in a minimal way. We are appealing to him to get involved. We think it should be certified provisionally, until there can be a forensic investigation of these machines, and until there’s a random recount. In only two of the counties did they do any hand recounting.” [Why a “random recount” Is that “Gore the sequeal” where you chose the most likely areas to gain DEMOCRATIC VOTES and recount them? Besides, the entire State was recounted. At the astonding cost of $5,000 dollars per vote gained by the democrats!]

NEWSWEEK: What can be done now?
Jackson: “Thursday is when Congress is scheduled to certify the vote. Kerry should take the floor and ask for a debate on the subject. Kerry pulled out too early. The scrutiny pulled out with him.” [That’s the trick! Kerry could call the speech “Christmas in Ohio” You could also debate why the Democrats insist on continuing their smear campaign in Ohio]

My advice Jessie? Just keep on, keeping on. I understand you must maintain the ABB crowd’s energy level for the ’06 mid-terms. But, as already demonstrated, you and those like you are destined to fail utilizing similar tactics, and the evil Republicans will gain a few more seats in the Senate and House.

This entry stalled Outside the Beltway in the Beltway Traffic Jam.

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Channel News Asia, as well as other outlets, is reporting President George W. Bush has announced the United States, Australia, Japan and India would spearhead the international response to the Tsunami catastrophe and urged other nations to join.

Not to be left out in the cold the UN’s “moonbat-at-large,” emergency relief coordinator Jan Egeland, has added his two shillings to the Bush announcement: “I think it complements in an excellent way our efforts to coordinate.”

“Our efforts?” Must have one of those EU rats in his pocket, ’cause I damm sure don’t see UN personnel on that list!

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Filed under the “it had to happen department,” Donald Sensing posts the text of the first E-mail scam related to the Tsunami disaster.

TSUNAMIS DISASTER EMERGENCY
Dear Sir/Madam,

With sympathy and heavy laden hearts, we hereby appeal to your sense of generosity to assist by donating any amount you can afford towards The “TSUNAMIS DISASTER HELP FUNDS”, which is aimed at assisting the victims of the Asians Tsunamis which took place on Sunday the 26TH December, 2004 .

We are a non- governmental charity organisation… Blah, Blah… you know the rest.

Two thoughts. One, these scams must be working to some degree. And if that assumption is true, just how many tubes, medical monitors, and morphine IV drips does it take to be suckered in by these obvious scams.

I’d say P. T. Barnum was spinning is his grave but that might indicate a slight sign of life and provoke a flood of E-mails addressed to “sucker@ptbarnum.gravestone.com”

And if you are a member of the “Brain Dead Society” I would suggest enrolling in VHEMT whose motto includes these choice words:

“May we live long and die out”

“Phasing out the human race by voluntarily ceasing to breed will allow Earth’s biosphere to return to good health. Crowded conditions and resource shortages will improve as we become less dense.”

H/T Bill Hobbs.

UPDATE: If not a member of the “Brain Dead Society” and desire to help those that are suffering in Southeast Asia I suggest scrolling thru the SEA-EAT blog for a generous helping of locations to offer assistance. Also this newly created WikiNews page has on offer an extensive list of agencies and clearing houses for donations and assistance.

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Philippines President Arroyo never has been one to shy away from attaching herself to the latest hot button issue. The current Southeast Asian Tsunami disaster has been no exception.

BAGUIO CITY, Benguet, Philippines — President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo said the government would start the full modernization of its weather forecasting system to help the country be better prepared for disasters, including tsunamis.

The President’s statement came after she expressed sympathy to the victims of the tsunamis that hit the coastlines of southern Asian countries on Sunday.

Ms Arroyo, who is spending the Christmas and New Year holidays in this city, said the government was improving its forecasting facilities so that these could be linked to the warning systems of the mainland United States, Hawaii, Japan and China.

Social Welfare Secretary Corazon Soliman said the government had allotted P17 million to the Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration (PAGASA) to upgrade its facilities.

Just what Arroyo expects to gain by throwing money at this problem is highly debatable. At very little cost to myself, in fact zero cost, a Google search turns up both the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center and the International Tsunami Warning Certer that are co-located in Ewa Beach, Hawaii. The International Center provides all the current Tsunami warning messages. Also offered free of charge and would have warned interested parties in the Pacific, including the Philippines, if the Sumatra quake posed a threat. A quick check reveals, it didn’t, and no official warning was issued for the Pacific basin. The largest crest in the Pacific was observed at “Manzanillo Mexico where sea level fluctuations were as much as 2.6 meters.”

Just a simple click of a mouse is all it takes, not P17 million Pesos. Maybe we should assume that Arroyo, her Government, the population as a whole and the local media are so ill informed and incompetent they wouldn’t be aware an earthquake has occured that would cue them to visit the warning center? I think not.

In a country on the verge of fiscal collapse it seems to be a waste of valuable resources. But “Ate Glo,” as Arroyo is commonly called, isn’t looking to warn her mostly under educated, unemployed populace, she is just grabbing on the latest opportunity to score political capital at the expense of a larger and ever growing budget deficit.

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Silly me… with the presidential election over the expectation was the partisan hacks that run the NYT and WaPo would at least attempt to provide balanced coverage. Judging by this WaPo headline, “Aid Grows Amid Remarks About President’s Absence,” I was overly optimistic. But not surprised.

Written by staff members John F. Harris and Robin Wright it compares Bush’s decision to stay on his Texas ranch to German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder who cut short his vacation during the current humanitarian crisis in Southeast Asia.

I fail to see anything to be critical about. While Schroeder has been hard at work in his plush Berlin office he has ordered $2.7 million dollars be sent to the countries affected and promised long-term reconstruction assistance. In addition 12 experts have been sent to Sri Lanka to help restore water supplies, (Yes, you read that right. 12 people for one of the hardest hit areas). 15 German aid workers are also making their way to the island of Phuket to aid in the search for bodies. At this point, in total, Germany has sent 27 people and less than $3 million dollars.

And the winner in this massive pledge drive is… President Bush. As he has lolly-gagged around the ranch playing the role of Presidential slacker his first response was a pledge of $15 million. An amount given when the body count stood at 3-4,000 and the breadth of the tragedy wasn’t fully known. As those counted as among the dead rose to the tens of thousands Bush upped the ante to $35 million. Given via Presidential Aide no doubt, as Bush raced around the back forty chasing jack rabbits with his pickup truck.

As Commander-in-Chief Bush continued his half-hearted, inconsequential efforts by ordering the Abraham Lincoln carrier battle group consisting of the cruiser Shiloh, destroyers Benfold and Shoup and replenishment ship Rainier to leave an R&R stop in Hong Kong and steam for the affected region. Also sent is the Bonhomme Richard Expeditionary Strike Group that includes the cruiser Bunker Hill, destroyer Milius, frigate Thach, attack submarine Pasadena, amphibious ships Duluth and Rushmore and the Coast Guard cutter Munro. A total of 13 capital war ships, with an approx crew total of 11,000 sailors and marines, and over 100 fixed-wing aircraft and helicopters, (most likely accomplished via CB Radio to National Command Center patch while making road pizza of the aforementioned jack rabbits). And let us not forget the six U.S. Navy P-3C Orion maritime surveillance aircraft ordered from their bases in Japan to conduct search and recovery operations from the air base at Utapao, Thailand.

Not a bad days work for a slacking, do nothing, unsympathetic bastard for a President. And the bet in this corner is that number will double in the weeks to come.

“Journalists” Harris and Wright also quote the UN’s latest flip-flopping asshole, Emergency Relief Coordinator Jan Egeland, but why should I duplicate the fine work done by McQ who has previously put on display his skills as a vivisectionist.

UPDATE: Joe Kelly adds this: “The only people who’d criticize President Bush for not returning to Washington are the same people who’d criticize Bush for breathing.”

UPDATE II: The good Capt’n has located a current list the Europeans have provided to the tsunami relief effort.

UPDATE III: Add this to the “stingy” US efforts. Airmen from Yokota Air Base, Japan, are among those bringing the first wave of relief for people on the coastlines of Southeast Asia and Eastern Africa.

The Airmen and six C-130 Hercules aircraft are expected to deliver relief supplies including food, shelter and clothing to Thailand within the next 24 hours, [Today 29 Dec.]officials said.

Defense Department officials said U.S. Pacific Command will establish a joint task force for humanitarian assistance and disaster relief operations in the region.

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Too Easy for Fisking!

Former Philippines president Estrada (ERAP) is awaiting knee replacement surgery in Hong Kong. While there he granted an exclusive interview with the Associated Press. In the process he has called the Arroyo government “mean” and “very, very afraid.”

Ousted President Joseph Estrada accused the Aquino government of being mean and fearful of him Tuesday as he prepared for knee surgery in Hong Kong this week.

Estrada arrived in Hong Kong on Monday—his first trip outside the Philippines since being forced out of office amid massive street protests in 2001. He has been under virtual house arrest on corruption charges.

Note the “virtual house arrest” line. When first arrested on the non-bailable offense of plundering billions from the government he was placed in detention at Camp Crame, a facility of the PNP. At government expense, and under pressure from the masa they built a special private “detention cell” for his use. Later, again under pressure from ERAP supporters, he was transfered to a “rest house” owned by the deposed president. During his time there he has been afforded the opportunity to host lavish birthday parties, among other outrages, that the “common man” he most identifies with would never experience as a resident of Quezon City jail under far lesser charges. In nearly three years under “arrest” ERAP has spent exactly zero days in anything that resembles a jail.

And now, with the Arroyo governments permmission, he sits in a posh Hong Kong hospital awaiting the skilled knife of his Chinese born American doctor. Keep in mind one of the reasons given by ERAP to undergo surgery outside the Philippines was the inability of his selected doctors to travel to Manila. Yet there he is with beautiful Chinese nurses flitting about his bedside and issuing bullshit like this:

Philippine leaders “did not even let me spend Christmas with my 99-year-old mother. They are very mean,” Estrada said from his hospital bed, with a view overlooking the Hong Kong skyline.

And this when answering critics that claim a deal was made with Pres. Arroyo to have the surgery in Hong Kong. “I would never strike a deal with this regime,” said Estrada, who referred to Arroyo as “that girl.”

“That girl” indeed, sounds very much like another impeached president we all know, “I did not have sex with that woman.

Somewhere deep within the bowels of the Presidential Palace there must be more than a few wishing there is a slight “slip of the knife” and ERAP goes the way of FPJ and becomes the latest load of rose food.

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