Archive for February, 2005


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Note: As you can see from the above I am testing a function to insert dropcaps and have the letter replaced by an image as each posts titles are.

Now I must figure out how to make the paragraph text flow aroud the letter. The previous way using span tags isn’t working….heeemmmm a work in progress.

UPDATE: As you can see, problem solved. Lest you think I’m some sort of coding god, forget it! The plugin that produces to post title text replacment, and also the dropcaps comes courtesy of CF @ Cold Forged. If you run on WordPress and like how the function operates the plugin and all the details can be had at the link provided.

Technorati Tag,

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Sexual Gratifacation in “Dairyland”

“Drink Milk!” Or something like that.

NEILLSVILLE, Wis. (AP) — A 63-year-old man is charged with sexual gratification with an animal for allegedly having sex with calves.

Harold G. Hart, of Neillsville, allegedly told police that he routinely stopped at a Greenwood farm, usually after bar closing or on trips to strip clubs near Marshfield or Neillsville.

Well thank god he had a “valid” excuse, he was drunker than a skunk. On the legal side of the issue, I question the competence of the local DA. Why wasn’t he also charged with sex with a minor, a calve is an adolescent cow is it not? Hart apparently is a serial bovine rapist and that’s what finally led to his arrest.

A criminal complaint filed in Clark County Circuit Court said the farm’s owners installed a motion detector on Jan. 22 after regularly seeing footprints and vehicle tracks on their land. Around 4 a.m. the next morning, a sensor sounded and Hart was caught leaving the barn, but Hart allegedly said he just used a bathroom in the barn and had never been there before.

Hart told police he had sex with heifers before he went into the service in 1963 and resumed about a year ago at the farm. He admitted to using a rope to tie calves around the neck and estimated he had been to the farm “at least 50 times,” according to the complaint.

I guess we better give a little credit where it’s due, 50 times in a year isn’t no small fete for a man of Hart’s age, but I’m curious what the attraction was. Was it the soft brown “cow eyes,” or could it have been her moooovelous laugh that set Harts DNA enhancened “cattle prod” all a-twitter?

Inquiring minds and “old maid” cows want to know.

Crossposted @ Pickled Pundit

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Stating the Obvious

Female Soldiers Face More Danger in Iraq,” thanks Robert Burns I’d never would’a thunk it!

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A Tale of Two Doctors

A very sad and demented tale.

One may be a truth teller, or just looking for an a quick, albeit original, way out of child support. The other doctor may also be a relating a truthful tale, but she may also be the most manipulative, deceitful wench on the face of the planet. All in an effort to con her doctor lover into dumping his wife. You be the judge:

A man who says his former lover deceived him by getting pregnant using semen obtained through oral sex can sue for emotional distress — but not theft, an appeals court has ruled.

Dr. Richard O. Phillips accuses Dr. Sharon Irons of a “calculated, profound personal betrayal” six years ago, but she says they had the baby through sexual intercourse.

The Illinois Appeals Court said Wednesday that Phillips can press a claim for emotional distress after alleging Irons had used his sperm to have a baby, but agreed that however the baby was conceived, Irons didn’t steal the sperm.

“She asserts that when plaintiff ‘delivered’ his sperm, it was a gift,” the decision said. “There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request.”

I won’t hazard a guess as to who may be in the right but one thing is sure, if they were my doctors they would be dropped like a hot rock.

H/T to Beldar who offers a legal perspective to what he is calling “a spit-and-switch ploy.”

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Can We Expect Another Whitewash?

Urged on by an “angered” UN Security Council, a United Nations fact-finding team began inquiries on Friday into the assassination of former Lebanese Prime Minister Rafik al-Hariri. The head of the three-member U.N. team, Irish Deputy Police Commissioner Peter Fitzgerald, has promised “absolute impartiality and professionalism.”

Nothing unusual in that statement, we heard the same when the UN’s investigation into the Oil-for-Palaces scam was announced. At this point the benefit of doubt is in order, but I question just how much cooperation the panel will receive:

“I look forward to working closely with the Lebanese authorities, and to learning about their progress in investigating this terrible crime,” he said. “We will also seek to speak to others who might assist us to fulfil our mandate.”

Annan told Arab satellite television Al Arabiya he hoped Fitzgerald would be able to report back before he presents a report to the Security Council on Syrian troop withdrawal.

“I urge everyone to cooperate with members of the team,” he said in the interview which was aired in full on Friday.

“I urge everyone to cooperate…” Typical Kofi The Magnificent, urging, cajoling, and wishing things turn out in the UN’s favor. Just how many jihadist cut-throats Kofi expects to line up at Fitzgerald’s door to confess is unknown. But one thing is sure this small group of three “investigators” will find something, 99% of which will be gleaned from reports issued by the Lebanese authorities and attached to a UN letterhead.

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Sgt. Kevin Benderman, 40, missed his unit’s deployment flight Jan. 7 after giving his commanders notice 10 days earlier that he planned to seek a discharge as a conscientious objector. Benderman said he had become opposed to war after serving in the 2003 invasion of Iraq.

Fort Stewart commanders contend Benderman had an obligation to deploy with his unit, the 3rd Forward Support Battalion of the 3rd Infantry Division, while the Army processed his objector application.

Benderman will be tried by a general court-martial, the most serious form of court-martial, on charges of desertion and missing movement. If convicted, he faces up to seven years in prison, reduction in rank to private and a dishonorable discharge.

Without getting too deeply into it, (my take and refs to his enlistment contract and military history is here) this was expected. As a volunteer in the US Army he hasn’t a legal leg to stand on and to make matters worse for his appointed shysters, Benderman re-enlisted for the third time after seeing his alleged atrocities. See the above link for an outline of his, and his wifes, anti-war beliefs that were well known before that third enlistment.

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Wait Til PETA Hears About This

New Jersey’s Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals is “disgusted.” As soon as PETA gets wind of this all out war will be declared.

The marketplace is inundated with various versions of Gummi Bears. The newest incarnation that is causing “disgust” is the fruity-flavored – Trolli Road Kill Gummi Candy – in shapes of partly flattened snakes, chickens and squirrels, complete with tire track impressions. (Call CSINJ are they Bridgestones or Goodyears?).

The “rights-to-animal-lifers” are irate.

“It sends the wrong message to children, that it’s OK to harm animals. And that’s the wrong message, especially from a so-called wholesome corporation like Kraft,” said society spokesman Matthew Stanton.

Well no, is sends the message that Fluffy (you know Fluffy, that stupid Poodle the kids refuse to leash) if left to roam freely, becomes road pizza when his path intersects with a two-ton speeding DeSoto. Besides, any flat snake, is a good snake.

After receiving a complaint from the NJSPCA Wednesday, Kraft officials pulled an animated advertisement from Trolli’s Web site that featured car headlights and animals. No other decisions on changes have been made, said Kraft spokesman Larry Baumann.

Damm, two days late and more than a few dollars short, I missed viewing the online ad. It sounds like it may have been worth a chuckle or two. The society is considering petition drives, boycotts and letter-writing campaigns to get the candy pulled from the market.

I’d suggest the society write a book covering the subject, but it has already been done. It comes in two versions, the original and the “totaled” version. Both would provide a more useful “education” to kids than anything NJSPCA or PETA can offer.

As for the Gummi versions – they’re candy! Hardened jello fer chissakes! And watch out for rogue DeSoto’s!

Disclaimer: The author hasn’t in the past or present, owned, stolen, begged & borrowed, leased or been bound and gagged in the trunk of any model year Desoto!

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