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Archive for April, 2005

If you missed the White House Correspondents Dinner from Washington D.C. you may have missed seeing one of the best performances ever.

Traditionally the affair is an opportunity for those that cover D.C. politics and White House staff, including the First Family, to let their hair down so to speak. It gives everyone a chance to step back from partisanship and the “Press wars,” and enjoy an evening of comedy, normally at the Presidents expense.

Last nights was no exception but did have a break from tradition. The President each year gives the keynote speech and Bush did start his portion of the evenings festivities. As Bush started to tell a “story” about an old cowboy Laura Bush stopped him short saving the audience from hearing an “old joke.”

“Not that old joke — not again,” Laura Bush said, as her husband willingly relinquished the stage.

“I’ve been attending these dinners for years and just quietly sitting there,” the First Lady told the audience. “Well, I’ve got a few things I want to say for a change.”

What followed was comedy gold, with references to Desparate Housewives, Chippendales and the possibly astonishing fact she met George in a library.

She carried herself was grace, charm and displayed a simple yet very effective wit. Yet something crossed my mine as I watched, a “what if.”

What if John “Baroque Candidate” Kerry had won and Ta-RAY-sa had been on stage? If would be like watching an evil twin and truely frightening.

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LOS ANGELES (AP) – Dozens of protesters representing People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals greeted Jennifer Lopez at the premiere of her new movie “Monster-in-Law with signs declaring her the “monster-in-fur” for her Sweetface fashion collection.

The protesters, who included some people dressed in animal suits, complained that they have asked several times that Lopez eliminate fur from her clothing line, but have been ignored.

“She could make a difference in a positive manner, and what she does is cause the death of a lot of animals,” protester Linda Kraemer said during Friday’s demonstration in front of the National Theater in Westwood.

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“Please help, help me I don’t know where I am! I’ve been abducted, my hair cut and stuffed into a blue van!!!!! HELP!

If you haven’t heard or seen this weeks media hot story that concerned the “abduction” of Jennifer Jenni-fraud Wilbanks get out from under that rock.

After a week of near constant media coverage at about 1am this morning she called her family and claimed she had been snatched off a serene Georga street and is in New Mexico!

NOT! After questioning by the FBI she admitted she was “frightened” by her impending marriage. Since she disappeared Tuesday she had cut her hair, taken a bus to Las Vegas, then New Mexico for some “alone time.”

OK here’s the scoop, remember you heard it here first. She’s a loon of the first order that had this caper planned from the get go. She left her car, money, purse, and anything else of value at home. Then disappeared. She turns up nearly 4 days later screaming “abduction” and quickly recants,”I was scared! I lied”

1. She cut her hair – the search found cut hair that is still being anaylized for its DNA content – to alter her appearence.
2. She claims to have taken a Greyhound bus from Duluth Ga. to Las Vegas. Greyhound provides no service to Duluth, nearest service is in Gainsville Ga. 30 miles away.

End result is a stupid, self centered, evil bitch that held her local community as mental hostage’s for 4 days. She wasted thousands of dollars in State and Federal taxpayers dollars in the process.

Within a week video footage will surface from Vegas showing sweet, poor, poor Jennifer arm and arm with a previously unknown lover strutting through a casino. You will also start to see the “I was abused” excuse floated in the next few days.

Bet on it!

UPDATE: Just to add a little more absurdity to this loons story: I just heard the tape of the 911 call poor, poor Jenni-fraud made in New Mexico. She is quite the actress! Her blubbering teary eyed histerics were actually believable. Makes me wonder what the police did to change her tune so quick. With luck they gave her the ole fashioned rubber hose treatment.

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Today marks the 60th anniversary of Hitler’s death, a day all the world should rejoice in celebration.

Rochus Misch still remembers the sight as if it were yesterday: 60 years ago on Saturday he looked through a doorway and saw Adolf Hitler had committed suicide. Misch, 88, is the only person still alive today to have seen the Nazi leader and his wife Eva Braun dead in their bunker deep under the shattered city of Berlin.

“Hitler was sitting at the table, slumped forward, and Eva Braun was lying next to him. I saw that with my own eyes,” Misch told AFP from his home in the German capital. “But we had been expecting it. It didn’t come out of the blue. We had been waiting for the end.”

On April 30, 1945, with Soviet forces just 300 meters (yards) from the bunker and his armies beaten, Hitler bade farewell to his staff and went into his private rooms. There, the man who had plunged the world into conflict and sent millions of Jews to their deaths in the Holocaust poisoned a willing Braun and shot himself in the head. Historians believe their bodies were then soaked with fuel and burned.

“My work room was opposite the entrance to Hitler’s rooms,” recalled Misch, who was a 28-year-old staff sergeant in the Nazi SS with responsibility for maintaining the telephone lines in the bunker.

“I remember that he said goodbye in the corridor and went into the rooms. He said he didn’t want to be disturbed. I don’t know how long it took, maybe one hour, maybe two. I didn’t hear the shots myself because I was working on the telephones. But then I heard someone shout ‘Linge, Linge, I think it has happened.’ (Heinz Linge was Hitler’s servant). We waited maybe 20 minutes. Then we opened the door to his office and the one to the living room. Hitler was sitting at the table, slumped forward, and Eva Braun was lying next to him. It wasn’t a surprise. The commanders had all wanted to evacuate Hitler, but he said no, he was staying in Berlin.”

Nine days later Germany surrendered and the guns of World War II fell quiet in Europe.

Cross posted On the Third Hand and “tracked” to Kevin’s Carnival of Trackbacks.

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… or are you just HUNGRY!

CLOVIS, N.M. (AP) — A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school.

Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

“I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry,” school Principal Diana Russell said.

Two hours? The damm burrito must have reeked of jalapenos and salsa. These idiots obviously couldn’t pass the “smell test.” And why the indecision over laughing and cryin’ as a correct response? It should have been, “pass the salsa and sour cream!”

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My Drunkard the Car

I fully realize I may run the risk of getting a legal smackdown if I over indulge in alcohol and weave my merry way down the interstate.

But what if my Saab is a sop?

Excess wine to be used as biofuel.

A wine glut in Europe has seen winemakers in France and Spain agree to release more than half a billion litres of their wine for use as industrial alcohol or biofuel.

So does that mean in addition to leaded and unleaded, the pump menu will now include “Cabernet Franc” and “Vino de mesa?”

Will my local pump jockey ask, “Care for an apéritif, and how ’bout those windows sir?”

First sighted at Pickled Pundit’s place, a note worthy stop in your travels through the blogosphere.

Cross posted On the Third Hand

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Misplaced Nationalism

Nationalism: noun, “Loyalty and devotion to a nation or ethnic group that places emphasis on promoting the interests, cultural and social values, or religion of one group above all others.” As defined nationalism is an admirable trait. In extreme forms it can lead to xenophobic behavior.

The Malacca Straits, a narrow waterway slicing Indonesia’s Sumatra island from mainland Southeast Asia, is one of the busiest shipping lanes in the world, funnelling 50,000 vessels a year between the biggest economies of the West and the East. This week there were seven reported incidents of attempted piracy, five occured in Malacca or Indonesian waters. The risk of terrorist/pirate attacks can perhaps never be eliminated, but sensible steps can be taken to reduce the risk.

The Malaysian coastline makes up a section of the Malacca Straits and their security officials should be sympathetic to the security situation in the area. Unfortunately they have come down with an extreme case of xenophobia and have started screaming “not in my backyard.”

Any ship providing private armed escort services to merchant vessels in the pirate-infested Malacca Strait will be detained, a top Malaysian security official warned in remarks published yesterday.

Director of internal security Othman Talib was responding to reports earlier this month that a private security firm employing former members of elite military units had begun providing armed escorts to ships plying dangerous Asian waters.

What has the Director crying foul is a Singapore-based maritime security company, Background Asia Risk Solutions (BARS). The company provides its own armour-plated vessel that accompanies ships between Sri Lanka, through the Malacca Straits and to the South China Sea for about $50,000 per voyage.

BARS employs 60 former members of military units from Singapore and elsewhere, who carry out their escort missions armed with M-16 and M-4 assault rifles. In what should be a fairly transparent operation to bordering countries – providing free security and allowing local coastal patrols to conduct other missions – has run into a security director that not only threatens to arrest them but has called them terrorists.

Othman told the Bernama news agency that directives had been issued to all marine police commanders to detain any such boat and arrest the crew members if it encroached into Malaysian waters.

The crew could be categorised as “terrorists” or “mercenaries” and charged under the Internal Security Act, he said. “They have no power in this country and it is a violation of our territorial sovereignty.”

Any private security company wishing to operate in Malaysia would have to obtain a permit from his ministry, Othman said. Malaysia’s marine police were prepared to provide escort services and were already guarding Japanese-owned merchant ships which were carrying high value cargoes as they passed through the strait, he said.

That raises a very large BS flag in my mind.

If Othman is claiming possible encroachment into Malaysian waters by BARS (a questionable claim, the transit channel is in international waters), why isn’t his own marine police experiencing the same as they pass by Indonesian and Singaporean waters enroute the South China Sea? Secondly, and noting the highlighted section above, Othman is requiring BARS “to obtain a permit from his ministry.” And I suspect he is damm upset he has received competition that would cut into any renumeration he receives for the escort services he is providing.

Given the endemic corruption in all South East Asian countries, Malaysia included, I smell a very large sea-going rat in the person of internal security Director Othman Talib. Considering the importance of the Malacca Straits in international commerce it may be time to launch an investigation into Othman’s operation.

Cross posted On the Third Hand

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Goodby, See Ya in Hell!

Hasan Akbar, the American Muslim who murdered his fellow soldiers at the start of the Iraq invasion, has been sentenced to death.

FORT BRAGG, N.C. – A military jury sentenced a soldier to death Thursday for a deadly grenade and rifle attack on his own comrades during the opening days of the Iraq invasion, a barrage that prosecutors said was triggered by religious extremism.

Sgt. Hasan Akbar, who gave a brief, barely audible apology hours earlier, stood at attention between his lawyers as the verdict was delivered. He showed no emotion.

Rot in hell you evil murderous bastard! If there is any justice to be had it’s not in your death. The justice will be in the form of your 72 virgins who may all look like fat asssed, carpet munching Rosie O’Donnell.

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And another in a seeming endless string of takedowns of a John “The Baroque Candidate” Kerry speech. Cut to the chase.

Regime change is going to war, you nincompoop. It’s a lead pipe cinch your precious sanctions (you remember, the ones you libs say now were so wonderfully effective but back then were lobbying hard to do away with?) weren’t going to do it. War was the only way regime change—official policy of the Clinton admin, a policy you claim to support—was going to get done; it works that way in the real world sometimes. Well, okay: every time. Those long accustomed to absolute and unquestioned power just aren’t usually willing to give up the solid gold bathroom fixtures and rape rooms just because some stripey-pants dweeb says he oughter in front of a bunch of other warts at the UN. So: do you support the policy or don’t you, Johnny-boy? Yeah, I know, it’s a trick question.

And there is oh so very much more!

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I am Puzzled

FORT BRAGG, N.C

Facing a possible death penalty for his fatal attack on fellow soldiers, Sgt. Hasan Akbar will make an unsworn statement to the jury in his own defense, a lawyer said Wednesday.

The statement by Akbar is to come Thursday, the fourth day of the sentencing phase of his court-martial, said the defense lawyer, Maj. David Coombs. Akbar was convicted last week of premeditated murder and attempted murder in the March 2003 attack on the 101st Airborne Division at Camp Pennsylvania in Kuwait.
[…]
Prosecutors have said Akbar, 34, launched the attack because he was concerned about U.S. troops killing fellow Muslims in the war.

Why am I puzzled? As a good little jihadist cut throat why isn’t he eagerly awaiting his 72 vestal virgins? His lawyer shyster has been quoted saying Akbar will fight the death penalty. So, does he not believe the jihadist rhetoric and afraid their are no virgins waiting his demise? Apparently so.

Another puzzling thing is how anyone can support this murderous bastard, but they do.

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