Singing diva Mariah Carey the new one, not the old ass-the-size-of-a-beer-barrel one, loves her new shape.
In fact loves it so much she’s comparing it to something not even legal:
‘I do have the body of a 12-year-old!’ she exclaims. ‘I’m really proud. I’ve lost a lot of fat and a little muscle. Now I have the body I had in high school. (Yeah RIGHT! – ed)
So which is it, a pre-pubescent 12 year old, or a high schooler? Or was Mariah in HS at 12, I’m so confused!
To make matters worse she’s apparently hiding her new found slimness by not clubbing, she prefers to have fun at home. (Yeah RIGHT, how soon will the paparazzi sue for restraint of trade – ed)
‘Mostly my friends come over and we lie around and have a pyjama party,’ she says. ‘There are no guys and we prance around the apartment in our pyjamas, talk nonsense and drink wine. I love that.’
No men? (Yeah RIGHT, what are the odds? – ed)
“Sometimes there are some. The main thing is that they don’t take pictures of us while we’re sleeping. Then I would be mad.”
No pictures? No cameras? No lecherous men, with cameras – taking pictures – of a pajama-clad Mariah?
Yeah RIGHT! And the earth is flat, YouTube doesn’t exist and Lindsay Lohan moves into a nunnery!