Archive for the ‘Diversions’ Category

Nothing like a blatant ratings grab huh “Dr.” Phil (Or the more appropriately named, Dr. Fame whore):

Employees of the “Dr. Phil” television show posted bail for a central Florida teenager jailed for taking part in a videotaped beating of another teen, a spokeswoman for the show’s host confirmed Saturday.

Staff members of the talk show helped Mercades Nichols — one of eight teens facing charges in the case — post bond this weekend, “Dr. Phil” McGraw’s spokeswoman Terri Corigliano said in an e-mail.

Only two of the teens remained jailed late Saturday night, Polk County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Scott Wilder said.

Gee, why didn’t all of them get a taste of “Dr.” Phil’s generosity? Could it be because Mercades Nichols by all accounts has been ID’d as the ring leader of this merry band of asswipes and would garner larger ratings?

MeThinks so, and also that this asshat needs his license to practice whatever it is he practices pulled in all 50 states. He’s nothing more than a Jerry Springer with a sheepskin, and the speedskin was probably purchased from a diploma factory.

Read Full Post »

Britney Spears’ motoring misfortunes continue, Spears struck a vehicle on a California highway in her 2008 Mercedes, police say.

The pop star was involved in a minor traffic accident late Saturday. No one was injured and no vehicles were damaged, authorities said.

California Highway Patrol Officer Patrick Kimball says Spears was driving her 2008 Mercedes on the eastbound Ventura Freeway just east of the 405 freeway when the nighttime accident occurred.

Spears was in stop-and-go traffic when her car struck a 2006 Nissan in front of her that had stopped.

How do you hit anyone in stop & go traffic. I sware if this bitch ever operates with anything more than a single brain cell it will take Divine intervention.

Related articles

Read Full Post »

Filed Under – Yeah RIGHT!

Singing diva Mariah Carey the new one, not the old ass-the-size-of-a-beer-barrel one, loves her new shape.

In fact loves it so much she’s comparing it to something not even legal:

‘I do have the body of a 12-year-old!’ she exclaims. ‘I’m really proud. I’ve lost a lot of fat and a little muscle. Now I have the body I had in high school. (Yeah RIGHT! – ed)

So which is it, a pre-pubescent 12 year old, or a high schooler? Or was Mariah in HS at 12, I’m so confused!

To make matters worse she’s apparently hiding her new found slimness by not clubbing, she prefers to have fun at home. (Yeah RIGHT, how soon will the paparazzi sue for restraint of trade – ed)

‘Mostly my friends come over and we lie around and have a pyjama party,’ she says. ‘There are no guys and we prance around the apartment in our pyjamas, talk nonsense and drink wine. I love that.’

No men? (Yeah RIGHT, what are the odds? – ed)

“Sometimes there are some. The main thing is that they don’t take pictures of us while we’re sleeping. Then I would be mad.”

No pictures? No cameras? No lecherous men, with cameras – taking pictures – of a pajama-clad Mariah?

Yeah RIGHT! And the earth is flat, YouTube doesn’t exist and Lindsay Lohan moves into a nunnery!

Sorry Mariah, you may be slimmer, but you’re still listed as being Ho-tastic and Skandalicious!

Read Full Post »

Two Filipinos, Edwin S. Antolin, 52, and Crisanto R. Ramos, 29, arrived in Hong Kong a board a Cathay Pacific flight from Dubai.

These two mental midgets decided to take two of the airlines life jackets as “souvenirs.”

Both Filipinos denied knowing each other and were seated on different rows when they arrived here at around 2:20 p.m. on Tuesday for a connecting flight to Manila.

Antolin put the jacket in his blue traveling bag, while Ramos hid his in a red shopping bag. They did not foresee that they would be arrested and charged in court for taking “souvenirs.”

What these two nitwits didn’t plan on was going through an X-ray machine before they taking their connecting flight home. The “suspicious objects” were detected in their bags and they were promptly hauled before Tsuen Wan Principal Magistrate Andrew Ma who imposed the fines of HK$2,000 (P10,700) each.

For that oversight in criminal planning. and perpetrating Stupid Filipino Trick #5,983,028, these two are awarded Cranial Cavity’s Asshat of the Day Award.

Read Full Post »

Dith Pran Dies at 65

Dith Pran, a Khmer Rouge survivor whose experiences in Cambodia were adapted into the award-winning movie The Killing Fields, died early on Sunday at the age of 65, his friend and former New York Times correspondent Sydney Schanberg said.

Dith, who had been battling pancreatic cancer since January, died in the early hours at a hospital in New Jersey, with his ex-wife at his side.

“Pran was a special person, a very special person. Messages are pouring in from people who met him only once saying that he made a deep impression on them. And he did, on everybody,” Mr Schanberg said.

“He really meant everything to me.”

Dith had lived in New Jersey while working as a photojournalist at The New York Times – a position he had held since 1980.

Read Full Post »

zara_adams.jpgSo, the obvious question is, when will the streets run crazy with Muslim extremists over Zara Adams hoping to be the first ever Muslim Bond girl?

Adams, who recently launched her new publication, the Talent Magazine, is auditioning for the part for the upcoming Bond movie “Quantum of Solace”.

“The casting agent and the producers liked my pictures and other work and have invited me for audition,” Zara said.

“I don’t know too much about the part at the moment, but it is a good character role as one of the Bond girls with about 15-20 minutes of screen time.

“Working with names like Marc Foster and Daniel Craig, among others, will be an amazing experience,” she added.

Zara knows that while landing the role will be a major breakthrough for a Muslim actress, it will also upset her parents.

The single 25-year-old, who recently launched The Talent Magazine, revealed: “I had a strict upbringing and I didn’t even see my first movie until I was at university in Edinburgh, which funnily enough was a Bond film.

“I am getting a lot of support from my friends who are extremely excited about this but my parents aren’t really happy about me auditioning for this part.

“But I believe you have to choose your own path in life. “And if I’m happy, eventually they’ll come round to it as they always do.”

Read Full Post »

I think I’ll stop using drive-throughs as my own personal protest against this nonsense.

The local pizzeria or fast-food drive-through might fill your order, but it is increasingly likely they won’t take your call.

More and more pizza restaurants — including two chains in the Washington area — are relying on operators at call centers to take orders for delivery and give employees more time and space to focus on food preparation.

Two fast-food restaurants are testing the use of remote order- takers to cut down on errors.

People taking orders can be thousands of miles from the restaurant preparing the food. One chain has workers in Southern California taking orders from Florida. Another chain has workers in Pennsylvania talking to customers in Reston and other Washington suburbs.

“We envision order-takers sitting in offices or sitting in their homes. They could be one mile away from the restaurant or 2,000 miles away,” said Jeff Chasney, executive vice president for strategic planning at CKE Restaurants Inc., the Carpinteria, Calif., company that owns the Hardee’s and Carl’s Jr. chains.

Well pal, I envision a goat fuck of the first order. It’s god dammed hard enough to receive an order that is not only the type of food ordered but in the correct amount, from three feet! (Hey, you. I ordered five fries, not 3 and this Paris Hilton burger has “special sauce” on it. I said NO SAUCE!) Now they want to send your order through a labyrinth of fiber-optic cable thousands of miles away.

And you just know this had to happen. In ride the PC Police on their trusty diversity steeds:

Domino’s Pizza Team Washington, which has 60 locations in the Washington area, started using a call center in Oklahoma to take orders from Spanish-speaking customers about two months ago. Customers call the store and are directed to another number, which connects them to the call center and allows them to place the order in Spanish. The order is then sent back to the store through a high-speed Internet connection.

Well gee, why didn’t they go PC all the way? Why aren’t the remote call centers located in Spanish Harlem NY, or Little Havana in Florida?

You want PC, you want an Oklahoma call center? Ok fine, but I’m playin the racial discrimination card. This white bread American loves the fish tacos from San Diego’s Roberto’s or Royberto’s drive-throughs. To rectify this racial imbalance here’s what needs to be done. When ordering my Roberto’s battered and deep fried white fish, in a soft corn tortilla topped with cabbage, white sauce, salsa and a lime I fully expect my order to be routed to an Oklahoma call center and to an English speaking operator.

Cross posted On the Third Hand. This post also stalled Outside the Beltway in the Beltway Traffic Jam and “tracked” to Kevin’s Carnival of Trackbacks.

Read Full Post »

Where Was Paris Hilton ?

She must have been busy washing cars and deep throating burgers and missed this event.

San Francisco’s Center for Sex and Culture played host on Saturday to the city’s annual “Masturbate-a-thon,” an event its organizers said could draw up to 120 people from across the United States aiming to have a good time with themselves.

The event was organized to help raise funds for the center, and, according to its organizer, provide an outlet for safe sex for those who enjoy pleasuring themselves in a semi-public setting.

Carol Queen, director of the center, acknowledged that the event is unusual — even by San Francisco’s standards. The permissive city, which helped ignite a debate on gay marriage last year, tolerates many sorts of sexual behavior but masturbation seems a topic that is off-limits, she said.

“Even people who are sexually frisky … might have the bias that many Americans do, that it’s second-best sex, that it’s something you do if you can’t figure something else out,” Queen said.

…… Oh, excuse me, I’m still here I was er…. busy. Yea that’s it busy, training for next years event!

Read Full Post »

An Interesting Conundrum

You know how it was growing up.

As guys approached that age we were all told that masturbation would lead to “going blind.” For the sake of arguement let’s assume I followed that advice and today can see just fine. Now “X” number of years later some of us are threatened with blindness again. (present company excluded, my “thang” works just fine – ed)

U.S. health regulators on Friday said they have received more than 40 reports of a type of blindness in men taking impotence drugs, mostly involving Pfizer Inc.’s Viagra.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration said it has received about 38 reports of the rare condition among users of Viagra, four reports of blindness among users of Eli Lilly and Co.’s Cialis and one report of the condition in men talking Levitra, made by GlaxoSmithKline Plc.

Interesting isn’t it? At 13 you could go blind. At 73 you could go blind.

I just can’t see my way clear on this one.

Read Full Post »

Get Your Mitts off my Wiener !


Wisconsin question of the day, “Are we banning Little Oscar?”

It’s no secret that they take their cheese pretty seriously up in Wisconsin, but sausage is probably a close second. That was proven once again this week when the city council in Madison was considering a bill to ban mobile advertising in the city.

Sounded pretty good—until one alderman thought of hometown business Oscar Mayer. “Are we banning Little Oscar?” Tim Bruer asked, according to reports. The thought of banishing the Wienermobile from the city limits was enough to send the proposal to defeat by a 12-7 vote.

The Madison council’s move was the second big victory for sausage lovers this week; earlier, two Chicago companies, Vienna Beef and Alpha Baking, agreed to finally produce packages containing equal numbers of hot dogs and buns. With Memorial Day approaching, all appears right for a successful summer of grilling in the Midwest.

Also see Alderman Michael Murphy’s reaction to illegal beer consumption at Milwaukee’s Miller Park during tailgate parties.

If that isn’t enough wiener action for you, head over to Nippon Meat Packers site. Take in the sites and learn how to wrap you wiennie in the shape of an elephant, shark, hippo or the ever popular sunflower wiener.

Shamelessly stolen from AdFreaks

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »