Wouldn’t it be a woman’s dream, a doubly equipped man? Ladies, let’s be honest, at least amongst yourselves, doesn’t the thought of a two long dong he-man send shivers to your very… well you get the idea.
Michael Gruber may have had similar thoughts. As an avid motorcyclist he loved the wind, the freedom, and probably the friendship of fellow bikers he met pursuing his avocation. Eight years ago things changed, and the tale of the “Two Penis Conundrum” begins.
[Michael]…lost the penis he was born with in the smashup, but thanks to modern science doctors were able to keep him from living the life of a monk.
They reconstructed the organ using a mixture of skin, bone and other tissues from his own body and from all accounts, it was a smashing success. Gruber even fathered a child with his wife, Bianca, using the new appendage.
Hey life is a bowl of cherries, wife, child, a brand new penis what more can a man ask for? But then problems set in.
The newly constructed appendage was frequently infected and eventually it became almost impossible for he and his wife to have sex. Gruber’s solution was to ask doctors to build him a new one, which they did in a Berlin clinic. The doctors, to ensure the second penis (Or is it the third?) took and was properly supplied with blood left the first penis (Or is it the second? I don’t know I’ve lost count. “Who’s on first.”) in place. End result, Michael was the proud owner of two, count ’em, two one eyed wonder worms! One might think he’d be the envy of every male on the planet.
But when wife Bianca got a look at the duo, she packed her backs and left, taking son Etienne with her.
“I’ve got two penises, but no wife, but I am hoping when I get rid of the one of the penises I will get her back,” Gruber said from his hospital bed.
That a boy Michael, ever the optimist. Keep a stiff upper.. – oops, better not go down that road – get well soon Mike. And a few words of advice.
If you should decide to maintain your “duel identity” and the wife splits for good, maybe I can hook you up with the Doublemint Twins. What was that catch phrase? “Double your pleasure, double your fun?”
Failing that, and the desire to return to a single penis lifestyle is overwhelming may I suggest you contact this woman who would probably do the deed fairly cheap. And there is an “outsourcing” option. This Romanian woman will not only whack that extra pee-pee, but also provide a nutritious meal for any pets around the house.
The choice is yours Michael, but until you make it – you da THE MAN!
This entry stalled Outside the Beltway in the Beltway Traffic Jam. Also submitted to Kevin’s Carnival of Trackbacks.
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